We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
