This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We're too hungover to prance.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
