i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
