I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize