What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
