I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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