I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
