So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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