My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
