I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize