I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
