allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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