i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
