shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
