i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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