Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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