I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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