you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I still have a little drunk in my system
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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