found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
