pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
