Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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