Acid is not a monday night drug
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
