I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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