When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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