we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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