well I can't set my house on fire every night
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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