I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
