Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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