Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
