i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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