Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
handjob tips. give me some.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
