omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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