just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize