she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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