you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
