bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it hurts more in the daytime
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
