please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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