So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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