i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
