Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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