New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
