What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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