I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
