In the future we'll all be gay
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
