we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
