AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize