dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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