just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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