Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Be still, my beating vagina.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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