I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
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