Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
