Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My vagina just recognized that song.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
