i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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