Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
