I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
