did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
